I've Acted Like An Idiot!
When Miss got home on Thursday evening we had a long chat and I feel really stupid. Apparently she had told me she was seeing Chris on Wednesday. I honestly can’t remember her telling me, so I either didn’t hear her or was busy with my chores when she told me. I apologised for my behaviour the previous day and she told me we needed to have a talk.
“I was really scared of losing you,” she told me.
I couldn’t believe she was saying it, as that was exactly what had terrified me.
“Of course you won’t lose me,” she assured me. “I need you in my life, but I also need Chris too. Do you understand that?”
“Yes Miss,” I replied meekly.
“You really are a wonderful person. You’ve let me lock you up, and agreed to stay locked. That proves how much you love me. Chris wouldn’t do that.” She said, making me feel proud.
“You accepted dressing as a girl and Chris wouldn’t do that. And I don’t think he could boil an egg, let alone know how to use an iron!” she laughed.
“That’s why you are special to me, you do things for me that Chris would never do. But Chris does things for me that you could never. I need you, but you both give me different thing, and I want you both to be a part of my life. You shouldn’t feel threatened by Chris, because you both give me different things. Chris is a man…and well you’re not really are you?”
I felt embarrassed but also happy that she had admitted that she needed me. We both started crying and hugging each other, holding each other tight.
“I never want to lose you,” I said.
“I’ve got a little surprise for you she announced, and went over to her bag and pulled out a white padded envelope.
I opened it and found a wig wrapped-up in some fine netting. When I pulled the netting apart I was surprised and impressed by the wig. It wasn’t like what I’d imagined it to be; it looked really realistic, brown, shoulder length with blondish highlights.
“Why don’t you do your make-up and try it on?” she suggested.
I went and boiled a kettle, placed a towel over the sink and gave myself a facial sauna (this apparently opens the pores and brings out the hairs, so I can have a really close shave).
Once I’d shaved and rinse my face with cold water I started putting on my make-up. I’m still pretty rubbish with the eyeliner and lip liner, but Miss tells me it just takes time and practice.
She came into the bathroom and joked, “You’re not going for the front cover of Vogue, you know.”
“I bet you didn’t put your make-up on last night, did you?”
I had to admit I hadn’t being so moody.
“You need to wear your make-up every night, so it is perfect and becomes second nature to you.”
She helped me with the wig, which kept sticking to my face, so she got a hair band, pulled two strands of hair from the front of either side and tied them behind my head.
I looked into the mirror and was astonished at the difference it made. I really was looking more female.
Miss put her arms around my waist, cuddling me as we looked in the mirror.
“You look sooo sexy,” she whispered in my ear, making me blush, but feel so, so special.
We had a lovely night. I cooked us a delicious meal and we had a couple of bottles of wine. We were both a little drunk and Miss started to talk about Chris. She has never slept with a guy who is so passionate and with such stamina.
“Is he really pretty big?” I asked.
“What, down there?” she answered. “Mmmm.”
She held her hand out, “I guess he’s about this big…7 or 8 inches? I’ll have to measure it for you.”
We both started giggling.
“It’s the best sex I’ve ever had…and it keeps getting better. He’s sex on legs. He’s made me feels things I have never felt before, I just can’t stop thinking about him and smiling. When we make love it’s just so wonderful…he’s just so wonderful. I just love feeling him inside of me.”
She’d never been this open of honest before and it made me realise how close we were that she could share this with me.
“I told Chris what you said yesterday, and that you shouted at me and he was pretty angry, you know.” She blurted out.
“What did he say?”
“Well he just didn’t like the way you were speaking to me. He said it showed a complete lack of respect and he doesn’t want you to stick your nose into our affairs.”
“Yes Miss, I really am sorry. I promise it won’t happened again.”
“Well you should really apologise to him as well.”
I suddenly felt panicky. “I can’t meet him,” I replied. “We agreed I wouldn’t have to meet him.”
“No silly, you don’t have to meet him, but perhaps just write him a quick letter saying you’re sorry.”
We went into the kitchen and I sat down and wrote him the letter I have posted below.
Or you can see it here:
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/southernslave/letter2chris.jpg
“Is that OK, will that be OK? Do you think he’ll accept it?” I asked nervously.
“I think it’s fine. I’m sure he will. He’s not a bad guy, you know. You might actually get on, you two.” She said smiling.
“To be honest…” she paused looking me in the eye, “I think I’m falling in love with him.”
My face must have dropped because she quickly added, “I still love you, sweetheart, but it’s in a different way to Chris. I can’t really explain.”
Later she sent me to bed because she was feeling quite horny. It suddenly dawned on me that I had never ever actually seen her masturbating. I had asked her a few times when we were first together, and bought her vibrator but she’d always told me she was too shy, and felt too vulnerable to do it with me in the room. It was probably just an excuse to myself but I went to the toilet and walking back I noticed the lounge door wasn’t fully closed. I crept up to it and could hear her gasping and gently moaning, which made me smile. For the first time in weeks I felt a stirring between my legs. The sounds she was making and the knowledge she was playing with herself was exciting me and I was actually starting to get an erection. Even though I could feel the Points Of Intrigue on my CB-3000 starting to dig into me I couldn’t stop listening. I thought about quickly looking round the door, but knew she’d go ballistic if she saw me, and the pain from the CB-3000 started to really hurt so I quietly went back to bed.
When she came to bed I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I knew that I had to.
“Miss, I know we both agreed that chastity was important in our relationship…but, well I do miss the intimacy that we had when we use to make love. I’ve never felt as close to anyone as then.”
“Tiny,” she sighed, “Just when things seem to straighten themselves and we are getting on better than ever, you have to say something like that. Do you really want to ruin things between us?”
“No, of course not…” I answered, but she cut me off.
“And I don’t think Chris would be too impressed would he? What if I told him? Do you think he’d be happy that I was cheating on him?”
“I’m sorry, I know it as a stupid thing to say. I’m really sorry.”
“OK, but I think we should both go to sleep and forget about it, alright?”
“Yes Miss.”
On Friday night we were just finishing dinner when the phone went. It was my Mum, asking if we could go round for Sunday lunch. I held my hand over the receiver and asked Miss if she fancied it.
“Oh I can’t. I’m seeing Chris on Saturday night and I sort of promised I’d cook him a roast on Sunday. I don’t think his kitchens ever been used, apart from the microwave. But why don’t you go, you haven’t seen you Mum since before Christmas.”
“Hi Mum, yes I can come but Kirstin is having dinner with a friend…Yes, I’ll be there a One. OK.”
On Saturday Miss left at about 6 to see Chris. It was completely different to Wednesday night. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I said, “Have a good night, Miss.”
“You too. Be a good boy.”
It still felt a bit funny and even though I spent most of the night watching a film, I did feel a bit on my own.
Sunday was uneventful. My Mother cooks a great Sunday Roast and it was nice to see her. She did ask after ‘Kirstin’ and where she was, which was a little embarrassing but I just told her she was having lunch with her friend Catherine.
When I got home Miss was already there but she went to bed for a couple of hours in the evening. And thank god Chris had accepted my apology.
“You’ve got him well trained,” he apparently told Miss.
“Of course I have, what else would you expect.
Our relationship has changed so much in the last few weeks, but we’ve come through it and are still together. I feel so proud to be with Miss, even if things aren’t the same as they use to be. But love is an ever changing and many splendoured thing. And we our lucky to have it.
“I was really scared of losing you,” she told me.
I couldn’t believe she was saying it, as that was exactly what had terrified me.
“Of course you won’t lose me,” she assured me. “I need you in my life, but I also need Chris too. Do you understand that?”
“Yes Miss,” I replied meekly.
“You really are a wonderful person. You’ve let me lock you up, and agreed to stay locked. That proves how much you love me. Chris wouldn’t do that.” She said, making me feel proud.
“You accepted dressing as a girl and Chris wouldn’t do that. And I don’t think he could boil an egg, let alone know how to use an iron!” she laughed.
“That’s why you are special to me, you do things for me that Chris would never do. But Chris does things for me that you could never. I need you, but you both give me different thing, and I want you both to be a part of my life. You shouldn’t feel threatened by Chris, because you both give me different things. Chris is a man…and well you’re not really are you?”
I felt embarrassed but also happy that she had admitted that she needed me. We both started crying and hugging each other, holding each other tight.
“I never want to lose you,” I said.
“I’ve got a little surprise for you she announced, and went over to her bag and pulled out a white padded envelope.
I opened it and found a wig wrapped-up in some fine netting. When I pulled the netting apart I was surprised and impressed by the wig. It wasn’t like what I’d imagined it to be; it looked really realistic, brown, shoulder length with blondish highlights.
“Why don’t you do your make-up and try it on?” she suggested.
I went and boiled a kettle, placed a towel over the sink and gave myself a facial sauna (this apparently opens the pores and brings out the hairs, so I can have a really close shave).
Once I’d shaved and rinse my face with cold water I started putting on my make-up. I’m still pretty rubbish with the eyeliner and lip liner, but Miss tells me it just takes time and practice.
She came into the bathroom and joked, “You’re not going for the front cover of Vogue, you know.”
“I bet you didn’t put your make-up on last night, did you?”
I had to admit I hadn’t being so moody.
“You need to wear your make-up every night, so it is perfect and becomes second nature to you.”
She helped me with the wig, which kept sticking to my face, so she got a hair band, pulled two strands of hair from the front of either side and tied them behind my head.
I looked into the mirror and was astonished at the difference it made. I really was looking more female.
Miss put her arms around my waist, cuddling me as we looked in the mirror.
“You look sooo sexy,” she whispered in my ear, making me blush, but feel so, so special.
We had a lovely night. I cooked us a delicious meal and we had a couple of bottles of wine. We were both a little drunk and Miss started to talk about Chris. She has never slept with a guy who is so passionate and with such stamina.
“Is he really pretty big?” I asked.
“What, down there?” she answered. “Mmmm.”
She held her hand out, “I guess he’s about this big…7 or 8 inches? I’ll have to measure it for you.”
We both started giggling.
“It’s the best sex I’ve ever had…and it keeps getting better. He’s sex on legs. He’s made me feels things I have never felt before, I just can’t stop thinking about him and smiling. When we make love it’s just so wonderful…he’s just so wonderful. I just love feeling him inside of me.”
She’d never been this open of honest before and it made me realise how close we were that she could share this with me.
“I told Chris what you said yesterday, and that you shouted at me and he was pretty angry, you know.” She blurted out.
“What did he say?”
“Well he just didn’t like the way you were speaking to me. He said it showed a complete lack of respect and he doesn’t want you to stick your nose into our affairs.”
“Yes Miss, I really am sorry. I promise it won’t happened again.”
“Well you should really apologise to him as well.”
I suddenly felt panicky. “I can’t meet him,” I replied. “We agreed I wouldn’t have to meet him.”
“No silly, you don’t have to meet him, but perhaps just write him a quick letter saying you’re sorry.”
We went into the kitchen and I sat down and wrote him the letter I have posted below.
Or you can see it here:
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/southernslave/letter2chris.jpg
“Is that OK, will that be OK? Do you think he’ll accept it?” I asked nervously.
“I think it’s fine. I’m sure he will. He’s not a bad guy, you know. You might actually get on, you two.” She said smiling.
“To be honest…” she paused looking me in the eye, “I think I’m falling in love with him.”
My face must have dropped because she quickly added, “I still love you, sweetheart, but it’s in a different way to Chris. I can’t really explain.”
Later she sent me to bed because she was feeling quite horny. It suddenly dawned on me that I had never ever actually seen her masturbating. I had asked her a few times when we were first together, and bought her vibrator but she’d always told me she was too shy, and felt too vulnerable to do it with me in the room. It was probably just an excuse to myself but I went to the toilet and walking back I noticed the lounge door wasn’t fully closed. I crept up to it and could hear her gasping and gently moaning, which made me smile. For the first time in weeks I felt a stirring between my legs. The sounds she was making and the knowledge she was playing with herself was exciting me and I was actually starting to get an erection. Even though I could feel the Points Of Intrigue on my CB-3000 starting to dig into me I couldn’t stop listening. I thought about quickly looking round the door, but knew she’d go ballistic if she saw me, and the pain from the CB-3000 started to really hurt so I quietly went back to bed.
When she came to bed I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I knew that I had to.
“Miss, I know we both agreed that chastity was important in our relationship…but, well I do miss the intimacy that we had when we use to make love. I’ve never felt as close to anyone as then.”
“Tiny,” she sighed, “Just when things seem to straighten themselves and we are getting on better than ever, you have to say something like that. Do you really want to ruin things between us?”
“No, of course not…” I answered, but she cut me off.
“And I don’t think Chris would be too impressed would he? What if I told him? Do you think he’d be happy that I was cheating on him?”
“I’m sorry, I know it as a stupid thing to say. I’m really sorry.”
“OK, but I think we should both go to sleep and forget about it, alright?”
“Yes Miss.”
On Friday night we were just finishing dinner when the phone went. It was my Mum, asking if we could go round for Sunday lunch. I held my hand over the receiver and asked Miss if she fancied it.
“Oh I can’t. I’m seeing Chris on Saturday night and I sort of promised I’d cook him a roast on Sunday. I don’t think his kitchens ever been used, apart from the microwave. But why don’t you go, you haven’t seen you Mum since before Christmas.”
“Hi Mum, yes I can come but Kirstin is having dinner with a friend…Yes, I’ll be there a One. OK.”
On Saturday Miss left at about 6 to see Chris. It was completely different to Wednesday night. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I said, “Have a good night, Miss.”
“You too. Be a good boy.”
It still felt a bit funny and even though I spent most of the night watching a film, I did feel a bit on my own.
Sunday was uneventful. My Mother cooks a great Sunday Roast and it was nice to see her. She did ask after ‘Kirstin’ and where she was, which was a little embarrassing but I just told her she was having lunch with her friend Catherine.
When I got home Miss was already there but she went to bed for a couple of hours in the evening. And thank god Chris had accepted my apology.
“You’ve got him well trained,” he apparently told Miss.
“Of course I have, what else would you expect.
Our relationship has changed so much in the last few weeks, but we’ve come through it and are still together. I feel so proud to be with Miss, even if things aren’t the same as they use to be. But love is an ever changing and many splendoured thing. And we our lucky to have it.
posted by Southern Slave at 12:25 PM
14 Comments:
This is too weird.
I dont know how a person can live life like a slave with no sexual release and get enjoyment out of it but if you do then thats killer.
Its important to find happiness and if you can look at your life and truly think your happy then woo hoo.
I would suggest that you and this chick get more info from the web and such on how to live this life as it sounds like she has done a few things wrong that could have really hurt you or already has.
Anyway take it easy.
by learning to accept your position it will help you to grow as a submissive.
good luck.
I've been reading your blog for some time now and just had to get my two cents in. I usually just live and let live but this situation just yells for someone to tell you the facts. You don't have a loving relationship of any kind. This woman is just using you and making a fool of you. You might as well be living with your sister. Of course she tells you what you want to hear. Why wouldn't she. She has her cake and is eating it too. Just because you are not well endowed, doesn't mean you are not a man. There are plenty of men who cannot sexually satisfy their mates but are still in a loving relationship. If not sexually satisfying your mate was the only prerequiste for happiness, there would be a lot of lonely old men out here. You need to cut the lock, smash the CB3000 into dust, give her the remains and send her on her way.
I've been reading this blog since I saw the link on Down On My Knees.
But I'm getting bored.
Seeing the unhealthy dependence isn't interesting.
Best to stick to the sites where spouses exploring chastity have real and happy lives.
There doesnt seem to be much of a healthy element in your relationship. Are you at all happy with this or ???
I disagree. I think this is a fascinating blog and it's interesting to see the changing dynamics in a cuckold relationship. It's not for me, but still great to read about.
i've said it before and i'll say it again - kirstin is a heroine and role model for all women. why should we settle for second best? she is proving we can have our cake and eat it too - something men have been doing for century's.
you go girl
steph
Damn this steph is a real moron.
Yes two wrongs make a right.
Thats what you are basically saying.
And that makes you less intelligent than athletes in the special olympics.
Ms.MacComb is a well-know expert in cuckoldry play.
Tiny, I'm not sure what to make of your story. But I've pointed a number of people to the blog.
The majority of the people leaving comments realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship with Kirstin. Even Steph in her own way has validated that reality by saying that Kirstin has the right to humiliate you for all the past transgression against women. You really should take heed of was the responders are telling you and reconsider this situation.
As an expert in FEMDOM and a very experienced Cuckoldress I must give you my two cents as well.
This relationship is clearly not healthy and will not go anywhere. A FEMDOM or Power Exchange relationship requires even more honesty and respect that ordinary ones.
She is taking complete advantage of you and its a completely one sided relationship. I live for female empowerment but in a healthy, positive manner. Just becuase men have behaved like pigs, doesn't mean that women can use their new found power to behave in the same manner. We should do it with strength, class, elegance and dignity, which are the values that make woman beautiful to begin with.
You need to have a serious chat with her and if she doesn't respond, get out befor eyour completely, emotionally and psychologically broken by her.
There are many loving, educated women who are willing to do it the right way. Kristen does not seem to be one of them.
I am actually jealous of Tiny. I would give anything to serve and worship a strong and dominant woman. He's one lucky guy!
You think you're jealous of Tiny but you sit in the sanctity of your own home fantasizing about it while you jerk off.
Its much different when you actually enter this realm and realize there's absolutely nothing fantasy about it.
Hi .. you've shown a pic w/ur january 26 blog, where it clearly shows both ur nipples are pierced. when did u get pierced? u've never mentioned anything about it ..
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